No doubt the dress says volumes about you but what about your shoes? Whether you love Donna Karan, Kitty Cooper, Alexander McQueen or Wal-Mart brand there’s a shoe just for you. Times have changed… color is BIG when it comes to wedding shoes. I’m sure most women will agree that your shoes reflect your personality. What better day than your wedding day to let your style shine through. Regardless of your budget, there’s a shoe out there for you. Personally, I like to try shoes on and walk around for a few minutes, while I have friends who are perfectly fine with shopping on line. Zappos.com carries a great selection of shoes that might fit what you’re looking for in a wedding shoe such as the Kitty Coopers shown below.

BE BRAVE… GO FOR THE COLOR. Shoes say a lot about who you are. Think about it… how often do you see a pair of bright red stilettos on a conservative woman other than special occasions? What about your friends…the ones who wear bright colorful shoes. Don’t those shoes reflect a fun personality? Sure we all wear “other” types of shoes for functional reasons…like right now…I’m sitting in a pair of slippers writing this blog. I also don’t like to walk my dog in 6” heels. Nonetheless, even my choice of slippers can tell you a lot about me.

Don’t you just love red shoes! I could list a million reasons why every woman should own a pair of red high heels. Put a great pair of red heels against a white wedding dress and some people will actually be shocked. If those shoes are you, then go for it!

It’s amazing how many men have an opinion about women’s shoes. I have on a pair of black high heeled shoes with a small buckle. They’re not as ugly as they sound…at least I didn’t think so until a male friend of mine referred to them as “Pilgrim Shoes”. UGH! Hey! I liked those shoes. Now I very seldom wear them. The point is that even though you may have on a beautiful long wedding dress, your feet still peek through and wearing a great pair of shoes on your wedding day is essential because the people that you least expect to be checking out your feet…will.

As much as I love shoes (and I really do), for me, comfort is important. I’m not so naïve as to think that I could walk around in a pair of stilettos all day (never mind dance in them) and think that my feet won’t be crying the next day. Keep in mind when selecting a pair of shoes that more expensive shoes are made of quality material so they can be softer to and therefore making it easier for you to walk in. When it comes to your wedding day, you may want to have another pair of shoes to change into later on like a pretty pair of satin flats as shown by the Shoe Princess on Etsy. Whatever you choose to do, let your style be known!

THE FAMILY GUIDE TO A STRESS-FREE WEDDING

Planning a wedding can be stressful for the bride, the groom and the entire family on both sides. Keeping your relationship with your loved ones in tact is essential to having wonderful wedding. So, here’s my take on things…

MOMS: If I could give mothers out there a bit of advice it would be to love your daughter enough to help her plan the wedding of HER dreams. This is not to imply that you should hand over a blank check or pay for something you simply cannot afford. What I’m saying is… support your daughter in her decisions and gently guide her when she is leaning in the wrong direction. After all, that’s what moms are for. Also, don’t think because you control the budget that everything must be the way you want it and the bride has no say. That’s a sure bet to alienating your daughter’s affection. Encourage your daughter to express her creativity and offer advice without being opinionated.

BRIDES: You play a big role in your own happiness and the success of your wedding. Not every bride out there has the good fortune of having a mother by her side when it comes to planning their wedding. This should be a time that you both cherish and enjoy. Sure, you have your fiancé but there are some things that only Mom can do. This kindest thing you can do for you mom is to allow her to be involved. You may have different styles and taste, but that should not prevent you from showing her the respect she deserves. It doesn’t hurt to ask for mom’s direction on matters that you’re not sure of. Also, don’t forget about your mother-in-law to be or your step-mother. If possible, find a way to involve her/them in your wedding planning. It’s a great way to create a lasting family bond.

IN-LAWS: Hopefully, at this point you have whole heartedly accepted your soon-to-be son-in-law or daughter-in-law. Keep in mind that your child loves him/her and the best gift you can give them is to find a way to love the person they love.

DIVORCED PARENTS: Oh boy! Where do I begin with this?  OK here goes… it’s not your child’s fault that you divorced their mother or father. With that said, you cannot (and I can’t stress this enough) turn your son or daughter’s wedding into a family nightmare because you refuse to set aside your differences with your Ex for this one day. Bluntly said, you need to Suck it Up, Hold your Tongue and step up to the Parental Plate out of love for your child. I’ve seen more brides (and grooms) get so overly stressed about how to deal with their divorced parents, what role the parent(s) will play and how to make them happy. I could fill an ocean with the tears that some of my brides have shed. Please! Mom and/or Dad show your grown child how much you really love them on their special day.

Our name, Affordable Occasions, often attracts budget conscious brides. It can also detract potential clients who may interpret it as “cheap”, meaning not classy or upscale. I can assure you that our approach is indeed upscale and stylish. However, our philosophy is that you can have an incredible event without breaking the bank so-to-speak.

How do I know this? From over 18 years in of experience in planning events. I’ve traveled all over and have planned countless events. I learned a long time ago that the key to an affordable event is the art of negotiation.

Not all people are comfortable negotiating for what they want. It takes practice, patience and determination (or guts). In essence, it’s a skill and there is a technique to it. It’s important to remember not to equate negotiate with demand or confuse compromise with failure when it comes to getting what you want.

Here are some Do’s and Don’ts

DO – Ask with respect. That is the number one rule in negotiating. It doesn’t hurt to ask and you’ll be surprised at how many people are willing to bend. If you demand, expect nothing.

DO – Your homework. You can’t negotiate if you don’t know what you’re negotiating for. It’s important to do research on prices, delivery terms and standards within the industry.

DO – Compromise. Be fair and come up with an offer or plan that benefits both or you.

DO – Accept the fact that although most things can be negotiated, not everything is negotiable regardless of what you’ve heard (such as a person’s integrity).

DO – Know that price is not the only thing to negotiate. Services for services (bartering). What do you have that the other person may want? For example: If you’re a web designer can you offer your services to the DJ. This can reduce some of the cost for your event.

DO – Be willing to walk away if you can’t negotiate a price that’s fair; knowing fully that you have crossed this item off your list.

DON’T – Expect that every vendor is willing to step into the negotiating ring. Some vendor’s prices are already low to begin with.

DON’T – Try to negotiate a price that is so low that it’s insulting. This will only anger your vendor and immediately put them on the defensive from that point forward.

DON’T – Be unethical by misrepresenting yourself or your situation to get a deal.

DON’T – Sacrifice quality for cost (EVER).